Pleasures vs. Habits

"First you form habits, then habits form you."

That's something pretty much everyone's heard around here, right? What I'm quickly starting to realize as I grow through life is just how sad these habits can be. Things I used to love doing -- things I would do every single day just because they were so darn awesome -- become habits. Something that is forever a part of my day, whether I like it or not.

Y'know, I used to enjoy making up a smoothie. Now it's something I expect, and even when I have it, the drink doesn't hit the spot like it used to. No tantalizing titillation of fireworks twisting over my taste buds to be found. What's worse is that when it doesn't happen, I just feel sad.

I've taken part in lots of online forums. Some were wonderful. Some were lacking. Some I still adore. And some I am attached to, in a way I'd rather not be. I keep up with these in an almost obsessive manner that blocks out the sunshine from my days and keeps me glued to the computer. I feel awful if I don't check them and unsatisfied even when I do.

While I'm on the topic of satisfaction, I'm quickly realizing how lacking that is in my life as of now. EVERYTHING is disappointing me. My favorite songs don't send my heart thumping anymore. I can't pay attention to books. Food I used to love is lacking. Everywhere I go, just about anything I do, leaves me feeling vacant. Like there's something missing from what I've just done. Like I hadn't really done it at all.

Don't think for a moment I'm unhappy. This post is certainly coming across far gloomier than I intended it to be. I guess I'm just growing up and losing my childish joy. It's weird; I always thought I'd be one of those people to play shamelessly like a kid when I was thirty-something.

I'm starting college this fall and very excited for that. I'm going to take a class in drawing that I'm really looking forwards too. There's also a musical I intend to audition for this winter. Family's over this July, and my dear mama's birthday is only a few days away. Overall, I'm looking forwards to the future (here's where I start singing Thanks for the Memoriesby Fall out Boy. Heheh XD), and I'm enjoying my now.

I do, however, think I need to eat more fruit. It's such a shame the watermelon's so bad this year. *pouts*

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Er.

Hi.

It's been a while, hasn't it?

Okay, so I'm belated, but here mid-February I'll gladly grin and wish you the best this 2011. So far, my year's especially grand because this one, for the first time since 2008, I'm starting it without rheumatoid arthritis. I'M CURED! HURRAY! Yay for low-dose naltroxone even if it gives me insomnia! I CAN MOVE AGAIN!!

Which brings me to my first resolution. I want to get in shape! Sitting on the couch writing stories/watching tv/writing fanfiction/other non-physical activities (bad girl!) lost me the gorgeous physique I had when I was twelve. My muscles faded, a stomach appeared, AND I gained quite a bit of facial fat. Which is just laaaaaaame, 'cause I'm now a walking weakling as well as totally inflexible. I really want to be strong and lean again. Sooooo... #1! Get fit.

(There was a day I thought I'd never, ever, ever, ever have to wish that, and I allowed myself a bit of smugness over all the poor people who did. I feel utterly evil for that now.)

MOVING ON. I want to finish That Story with Esme and Faun! I still owe you a post describing those two darling gypsies, don't I, since you already Met Cass (see my previous post ;) ). I was writing a thousand words every single day in that novel for a few in a row, but I'm very quickly going nowhere. Writer's block be-darned. I guess I just have to sit down and do it. Now we've got #2! Finish That Story.

I'd also like to learn German, but it's going to be hard to find a way to do that. In the meanwhile, I already know a few words! Like danke and guten abend and gut Gott.

So, there you go. Get fit! Finish a story (I've got tons of ideas! I'll tell you all about them later, I promise. There's so much I want to share)! Learn German!

I guess now I'm off to start the new year and continue my old life, which I adore quite grandly. Much love, and keep checking over here at my galaxy, 'kay? I'll never abandon this dear blog for good ;)

Meet Cass

(Just so you know, this is an old picture)

Ladies and gents, meet Cass. He's a Kaleedish snype (aka Egyptian Knight; Kaleed is roughly a mix between Egypt and the romanticized medieval era with a bit of my own flare ;D), and the first in a series of posts on my newest literary endeavor, a story that has yet to be named. Heheh. He is the third main character, and shows up about a third of the way through the book.

Actually, Cass isn't really a snype just yet. He finished all his training a year early because he's so darn dedicated (you would be tried to find a more patriotic Kaleedish subject, that's for sure). That would be a good thing, if it didn't mean he had nothing to do anymore besides hang around the pharaoh's palace. He can't even graduate until he slays and flays a great beast, and since he is still technically a squire, he can't leave his post as a castle guard.

Cass makes the most of it all, of course. Being a squire puts him in a relatively high social status, a fact that he take to its fullest potential. When he isn't practicing with his khopesh (check it out! The black and gold one looks most like how I imagine his: just here ), showing off to his friends, practicing his duties or sneaking a peak at the shows folks put on for the pharaoh (he likes fake magicians best, with mirrors and all kinds of tricks), he's taking care of his appearance, because Cass is girly like that. He keeps his would-be blonde hair cropped to a buzz - since hardly a soul grows out their hair in Kaleed - and wears a long hat like shone above to block out the hot desert sun. He finds duste leftover from magic wielders and brushes his teeth with it, so when he smiles, they sparkle. He's extremely pleased with that effect and likens it to the fake magic shows he adores, even though it's real magic.

Not only Cass is extremely skilled when it comes to fighting, but he truly takes the code of chivalry to heart and follows its rules to the letter, carrying them around in a little papyrus book. Despite his morality, our squire is an inherently power-hungry person. Cass's greed and Cass's wish to be a true hero often play mental battle in the poor guy's head, which can make him freeze on the outside. He isn't the cleverest fellow out there, and his Sordian complexion belies his ties to Kaleed. He's cocky, conceited, overconfident, vain, greedy, and skinny despite his musculature. But beyond it all, Cass truly means the best, he's mean with the sword, the bravest man you'll ever meet (sometimes even to a foolish degree), and a real sweetie, too. Love him, hate him, or something in between - he'll just be glad for the attention ;D

(On a side note, if he were a character from King Arthur, Cass would totally be Kaye)

Because I'm silly and passionate

Gosh darnnit, I’m fed up.

Okay, so there’s this really awesome series. It’s by a guy named Rick Riordan, it’s called Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and you’ve probably heard of it. It’s got modernized Greek Mythology, adventure, humor, excitement, and I love it to pieces. It’s been forever since I’ve touched anything from that series, but, jumping in on that final book, Mr. Riordan does an unbelievable job of catching me up. I could probably just read that one novel without any of the others and still get what’s going on. And it doesn’t feel repetitious even if you do remember what happened, because it’s like fond memories, calling back something you enjoyed a long time ago with a funny, dry twist to it in the narrative.

Anyhow, it’s a great book, it’s a great story, it’s great fun.

WHICH IS WHY THIS WHOLE THING IRKS ME SO MUCH.

There’s this character, who’s been there forever, who’s the romantic interest, who’s totally ending up with Percy no matter how any of us feel (though I’m getting the picture that people like her. I think I liked her too, ages ago. Before THE INCIDENT). Now I feel really weird about this, because I’ve adored the villains of a couple stories. I’ve relished in the messed up antiheroes. I’ve loved flaws that make a person cracked, but still leave them pure and lovely. But I hate Annabeth. I can’t stand her. She’s ruining the series for me, all because of one dumb thing she said when she was hurt and upset.

I wish Mr. Riordan had left romance out all together in this series (but kept the girls, ‘cause girls rock. Isn’t it weird how in general they only include girls in action series for the purpose of romance?). If he had, I wouldn’t be dealing with this trauma. Every second of the story that pretty grey eyed blonde takes up is a second I spend seething in animosity. And it’s not that I like the other girl better, though I guess I do (she introduces herself by her full name! Who does that? Who in the world introduces herself by her full name? Rachel Elizabeth Dare. The only person I know weird enough to do that is ME, which I guess makes me biased. But I want to make it VERY CLEAR that the reason I despise Annabeth has nothing to do with R.E.D.). It’s that Athena’s daughter hit my worst pet-peeve ever in literature, similar to the reason I resent Arya from Inheritance and elves in general in most stories (note I said most).

There’s this point, when Rachel and Percy and Annabeth are traveling together. Percy and Annabeth are demigods, meaning one of their parents was human, and one of them was a Greek God. Rachel’s a human, a mortal, and she likes Percy. Anna knows she likes Percy, and apparently Anna likes Percy too, even though she makes a point to insult and berate him all the time (I guess she’s nice enough otherwise, and the hate/love relationships can be cute when done properly, but really, I’m kind of getting bored when it comes to that). And there’s this point, where Annabeth says – ‘She’s just a mortal’ in this horrible tone, and I quote, “She said ‘mortal’ like it was some kind of disease”.

Excuse me. But last time I checked, I’m mortal, and I’m the one reading this bleeding story. Last time I checked, mortals built the Great Wall of China, and invented airplanes, and rollercoasters, and wrote brilliant stories – oh, wait, were all those folks who did great things demigods too? Because apparently George Washington was, in this series. Sooooo… if you want to be a respectable, responsible, powerful and/or brilliant person you’ve got to have a parent who’s a god? And if that person doesn’t happen to have a parent who’s a god, what does that make this ‘mere mortal’? A pawn, on some great big chess board? A fleeting speck of dust to be flicked away on the wind? An incompetent, uncreative, stagnant, helpless nothing?

Right. They’re just a mortal.

So I’m overreacting. I’m way overreacting. But the thought, that someone’s parentage can make someone ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than someone else makes me feel sick. Whenever I read about Annabeth, whenever she shows up, I get this sour, bitter taste in my mouth and feel sick in my stomach. It’s ruining this brilliant story for me and honestly, honestly infuriating me.

I used to get confused when people went off on moral characters so passionately and vehemently, while sticking up for the rotten ones. Now I think I understand. I guess that moral character just hit that person’s ‘spot’ like Annabeth hit mine. She’s a cool enough character; tough, clever, not at all helpless. A little arrogant, I guess, because all heroes have to have a ‘fatal flaw’ (so hubris is hers), but a cool enough character. I think I remember liking her. It’s such a shame, really. Because I so love this series, but now, reading it, I feel like throwing up.

I want to wrap my fingers around her neck, squeeze, and ask her what she thinks of mortals now. And I don’t even feel guilty about it, which makes me a little worried.

I'm a Kitten Killer

So, the night before last night, I read about that poor eyeless kitten in Georgia (http://goosestep-lion.livejournal.com/134965.html?view=924981#t924981 - thanks for passing on the word, Sylph). Anyhow, I went to bed, and then I dreamed that Mom and Dad bought me three cute little fuzzy kittens (keep in mind, I would never get a pet in real life, since Dad's allergic to cats and Mommy's got problms with dogs :XD: - so I should have known I was dreaming, but for some silly reason I didn't yet). They were ADORABLE.

Anyhow I was really tired, but one of the kittens needed a bath, so I took the cute little fuzz ball into the bathroom and filled the tub with a few inches of nice warm water. The kitten starts splashing around, having a ball, when I fall asleep because I'm so exhausted. Next thing I know I'm jerking up and there's this tiny black kitten skeleton soaking in the water. A SKELETON.

Now I'm perfectly traumatized and come running out into the living room screaming "I killed it! I killed it!" and yelling that we had to return the other two before I killed them too. I was crying and panicked and confused. And then my parents got divorced (another thing that's never happening; they PROMISED. Even if they hadn't - Mom and Dad love each other SO MUCH. I see that every day, even more every year. They take such good care of one another and they're a team in everything they decide) and I was really irked at them for doing that. And then I went through this weird trial, and there was this drunk guy going through it too (he was a REAL bum and a lowlife and a jerk, too) and then mom and dad were getting remarried, and then it had all been some illusion (except the kitten), but they were having a ceremony anyway, and then the end of time came, and there was cake…

It was a weird dream.

But I don't think I'm ever getting over that poor little kitten. :cry:

Happy Halloween!

EDIT: GAH! Due to blogger craziness, the pictures and the text are totally out of sink. Each bit of text has a description, however, so you should be fine if you read and look carefully. Read on!
----

Yippy! It’s the Day of the Dead, All Hallow’s Eve, that special day where people buy candy just to give it away. It’s like Christmas, only sweets instead of presents, and people give to strangers rather than those they know just to let kids have a good time. I think it’s a touching holiday, and a real fun one too, with all those fabulous costumes. I love picking them out and putting them together; it’s such a blast.

Since this year I won't be doing much for this special day, I thought I should post some dress-up memorabilia. I plan to be a Psycho-Ologist - or a Sinister Psychologist, or Lyla Alden, if you remember me ranting on her - this year, but you probably won't see pics until tomorrow. To tie you over, and for my own nostalgia's sake, here's every other year I ever dressed up:



Halloween, 1999, Dear Sister and I. I think we're supposed to be Barney and a Bumble bee, but who knows? The masks kind of throw me off.




Halloween 2003, Dear Sister as Alice in Wonderland and myself Super Man! Yippy!

A vampress and a mummy. Dear Sister's costume rocked this year, being 2004.

I went as a vampire for the second and last time, Dear Sister as a ghost. Isn't the blood a brilliant touch? And while I love sissy's hood, it's her killer expression that makes me want to drop dead. This is 2005.

Brother1's first time dressing up! At a year old, I believe, this is him as Super Baby. Dear Sister and I had AWESOME costumes this time around (we scared poor little kids on accident, they were so cool); me as a Ghost Bride, and she as a vampire in 2006. We switched our costumes from the last year, if you note.

Though I looked great as Medusa, the monster from Greek Mythology, getting the snakes out of my hair was a brutal, brutal memory I won't ever forget. But isn't Dear Sister just the cutest li'l witch you ever did see? She comes with a bumble bee, too!

You long-time readers should remember this one! My first Halloween on blogger, 2008, when I went as a Harpy (not a blackbird), again from Greek Mythology. Everyone else had chicken pox at the time (though I was soon to follow), so I was the only one who dressed up this time around.

This year ROCKED. Brother1 as Indiana Jones, myself as Anna Bolena, or Anne Boleyn, or Nan Bullen, Queen of England and my personal hero, Daddy as a Man in Black, Mommy as Donna Noble from Doctor Who, and Dear Sister as a Genie. Awesome, eh?

Myself, as Cinderella, last Halloween at 2009. This costume came out beautifully, I think, and that dress is one of my favorites.

That's it, I guess. Thanks for stopping by and reading - happy, happy, Halloween!

On my stories

I've started writing Kings of Darkness, yaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Yip, you heard right. Yesternight I poured out over 3000 words, which was wonderful. For probably the first time in my life I knew exactly what I was doing and where I was going to go. I am so, so happy for that, and I've gone pretty far too. I decided to try using Phoenix Shifter as the main character; I might change my mind later, but why not give it a go? She'll be Emily in this one (partly from the advice of Dear Sister), though, because it makes her a little more ordinary and I want her to be someone you can really connect with - someone whose eyes you can clearly see the land of Glorsifil through.

The trouble is that K.o.D. is only one of many stories I'm in the middle of writing. To put matters in perspective, here are just a few of the others:

An as of yet unnamed story about a man gone mad, his freaky psychologist, and his desperate attempts to go home and be with his family. The story follows Theodore and the other wards and workers in a mental hospital, exploring the idea of insanity and unraveling the mystery behind his mental illness and his new companions.

Dreams of Eden, a story about six miserable children who start dreaming of one another in a special, perfect place. Soon they learn that there is more to these dreams than meets the eye and set off on a long journey to find one other in their hidden paradise.

Twisted, a retelling of Snow White. Beatrice von Iden is a princess in her own right, and as her beloved step-mother taught her she has both a right and duty to all the privileges and obligations therein. When one day in the Queen's childhood castle, Beatrice - or Snow White, as she is fondly nicknamed - stumbles across the mystic Mirrors from her step mother's Fairies' Tales, her perfect world is slowly ripped apart as the years continue, driving her and the Queen further and further apart and throwing her into the hands of her worst nightmare and ancient enemies, the dwarves.

And those are just the most prominent at the moment. I'm still planning on writing a lot more stories in the world of Arrivia (the setting where my self-published sci-fi Project 6-1-2 takes place), for one thing, or a mystery about this guy and this girl trying to unravel their pasts, or another post-apocalyptic story. As you can see, I'm kind of overloaded. But that's okay, I guess, because yesterday I realized something I'd forgotten for a long, long while: I really, really do love to write. I hope one of these days I can make a career out of it, but I know now that I’ll be typing for the rest of my life.

Music

Being a crazy, crazy teen, I've been VERY into music of late. Some of my favorite bands are Shinedown, Evanescence, Solas, Snow Patrol, Three Doors Down, Flyleaf, Breaking Benjamin... wonderful groups like that. I love music with heavy beats and a catchy melody, or pretty voices mixed with hard guitars and drums (Evanescence all the way), and Celtic I near always find lovely. I'm not a Lady Gaga fan, nor so much into hip-hop, rap, or country. But there are always a few good songs in every genre, at some point at least. Speaking of which, I have far too many favorite songs to list, but Rooftops is truly glorious, and you should blast that right now yourself. "... All the love, I've met - I have no, regrets. If it all, ends now, I'm set. Will we make our mark, this time? Will we always say, we tried? Standing on the rooftops, everybody scream your heeeeeeeeeart oooooooout..."

Did I mention I was a published author yet? Oh, wait, I have. *sniffs* There's a link on my sidebar if you want to check out my book ;-)

Unschooling

If you’ve been a regular reader of my blog for a long time, then you already know that I am a homeschooler/unschooler. By that I mean that I’ve never gone to a public school in my life, and that my teachers are my parents, the world, and everyone I meet. For example, my parents didn’t teach me to read, but they read to me constantly. Now I am fervent, speedy, and fluent in both writing and reading. I learn from experience and living, from reading and exploring, and from watching others. If a particular subject interests me (e.g. psychology or ballet) my family and I find a way for me to learn some more about it. I’ve loved this, because I can spend my days with my parents, and with my brothers and sister who are my classmates in the school of life and very best friends as well. I’ve loved this because I learn what I want, when I want it, and because rather than being told things, (for the most part) I see them for myself.

Now that you have a background of what I deem unschooling, or at least how I lived the early days of my life, I’ll take a step further. I have decided that though I wish to write my many stories and have them published, they won’t be able to support me, and because I love learning about human nature, I want to become a psychologist/counselor and write on the side. In order to reach that goal, it can take as many as nine years of college education. I’ve never been in a ‘school environment’, so we found an online high school to give me a feel of how that sort of thing works and that would pay for the first two years of community college if one wished. Mom and Dad made it very clear that they didn’t care in the slightest what grades I got so long as I was happy, and I was unafraid and excited. Looking back maybe I should have been a little apprehensive. I’ve never learned any of the things they’d offered before in a school environment (though Daddy has shown me some algebra and other nuances pertaining to math). Who knew how I’d handle it?

I was very curious as to how it’d turn out. Sometimes it was fun, and sometimes it was really annoying. Throughout it all, however, I do feel I came out with more knowledge. Mommy and Daddy have never put me in a ‘formal learning environment’ (excluding recreational activities such as acrobatics, ballet, art… etc.), so the only things I knew about the subjects were the things they’ve shown me, or the things the world has taught me—yet I’m a straight-A student. I didn’t even have to ‘catch up’ with anything, I just jumped right in and moved along. I’m not saying I didn’t work hard or that the work was easy, but moving from nothing to an online high school was surprisingly simple. I grasped all the subjects, and I was able to learn and grow easily. The one thing I did have trouble with was multiplying negative numbers by negative numbers; it was so hard for me to comprehend how less-than-nothing times less-than-nothing became something. However, I think I understand it now, even if I can’t quite put it to words. That was probably the hardest thing for me, but history, earth science, psychology, and English I was able to tackle relatively easily and quickly.

That started to make me wonder—if that’s exactly where people my age should be, and I’ve had no such schooling my entire life, how comes I was able to do it, and get straight A’s? What about all those years students spend in school beforehand to prepare themselves for ninth grade? What use is it if someone who’s never done any of that can go through it without too much headache? We’re talking hours and hours of children’s lives, spent away from their parents and away from their siblings. Even when they get home they still have homework to take care of. It’s always fascinated me that school-kids can do school, do homework, do extracurricular activities, hang out with friends and still have time for family. I do almost nothing and I’m always swamped. But I’m getting off track here with this whole paragraph; I suppose I’d better get back on it.

All in all, I enjoyed this. It was an interesting experience and I’m going to try to start college this fall to work towards my goal of becoming some sort of counselor and freelance writer. But I don’t feel I’ve missed out on anything during those years of my life that I was unschooled. Quite to the contrary, I feel I’ve had an experience I wouldn’t trade for anything. I got to grow up under my parent’s guidance rather than several teachers, alongside my Dear Sister and later my Sweet Brothers rather than classmates, and I have had so many friends all different ages rather than being limited to those who are my own. I’ve let the Earth and Life teach me, I’ve written and loved and learned and grown, and I have no regrets.

Galaxy

Project 6-1-2 (and a happy new year while I'm at it)

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope your 2009 was filled with moments of joy and love. I know mine was (though I still wish this awful arthritis would quit picking on me ;-D). My resolution for this year is to publish A book. ANY of my books, and not necessarily King of Darkness, as it looks like I'm going to do some major changes on how I'm going to go about writing it, and it won't be done for a long time. There are some shorter stories (that aren't series!) I'm working on, though, so I plan to publish one of them before I turn fifteen.

Okay, now that that's over with, I can move on to what I really want to post about: PROJECT 6-1-2!!!

If you know me well, you know I love to write (as much as I hate it. But that's the way writing goes--it's a love/hate relationship) with a passion that runs down deep into my soul and heart. I love creating new worlds, I love meeting and shaping and growing characters and I love each and every one of them--even, in a way, the villains. You can't understand how much joy it brings me to know all the worlds and people I've created.
Anyhow, I have lots of really cool premises and starts, but I have troubles pulling them through. I was complaining to Mom about this one day when I came up with a particularly cool premise, and she told me just to write it. I told her I really had no idea where to start and had nothing to write. She told me:
"Then write the nothing--but if all you do is sit and think about how you never finish anything you never will. Just write it." (there was more to it, but it was over a week ago so I'm having troubles remembering it)
Yep, I've got a really awesome and inspirational mother, and I am so grateful to her, because if she hadn't told me those words I wouldn't have the 'nothing' I've been working on for the past week or so: Project 6-1-2.

I normally write fantasy, but this particular story is a sci-fi. Here's a back-of-the-case description:

In the year 2030, when near 18-year-old Emma Corte begins to have terrible nightmares of murder, mayhem, and a mysterious assassin, she also begins to notice differences in her abilities--since when could she defeat five trained men with her bare hands?
Meanwhile, in another world, Destin, the chief of security of a mysterious land called 'Arrivia', and his assistant, Argon, attempt to unravel the mystery of a string of murders, which is mysteriously linked to Emma Corte and the long abandoned, terrible accident of Project 6-1-2.

It's got plot twists, and mysteries, and villains, and though it's mostly black and white, there is a little bit of gray. It'd be soooooo cool if I could ever get this made into any kind of movie--I really think it'd make at least a somewhat enjoyable watch if it was done right.
The really amazing thing about this script is that it only took me seven days to write it--SEVEN DAYS! I am so, so proud of it, and I love all of my characters so much. Here are the main four it revolves around:

Destin: The calm, cool and calculating Constable of Arrivia, Destin is brilliant, even by Arrivial standards. He has worked hard and long to reach his position and is proud of his achievements, even if he doesn't show it. Good at putting his emotions out of the equation, he rules with head--sometimes drowning out his heart.
Argon: Argon is the assistant of Destin and is much more aggressive than his cool counterpart. Strong, gruff and sarcastic, he has acute instincts and prefers to leap before he looks--when Destin isn't policing him. Despite their many differences and verbal clashes, Argon looks up to his superior and holds great respect for him.
Emma: Though Emma spends most of the movie confused and frantic, she is more naturally calm and soft-spoken when the world isn't falling apart around her. Strong and kind, Emma trusts her instincts and heart to guide her way.
Enden: Enden is an assassin, and has no one in the world save himself. For someone capable of such dark acts, one would be surprised to learn that he is pleasant company, naturally friendly and easily brought to laughter when around--even if sometimes this nature can be terribly unnerving. An expert in martial arts and knife throwing, he is far more cunning than one might first guess from his light demeanor.

Of course there are a few side characters, but this is the main quartet who dominate the screen in my script. I love them all and had so much fun writing them that I had to share this with you, so I hope it didn't bore you to tears.

Thank you for reading!
(oh, and happy new year again!)


Galaxy

Curly! and Cut!

First, this post is a (alert! Alert!) !girly post! so, all you boys who read my blog BEWARE! Also, this post will be in deep contrast to my last one because today I'm chipper and high.

I have always been very, very proud of my near three-foot long hair; I say it's auburn, but it really doesn't have much red in it, so I suppose I am a brunette. Anyhow, my pride for my super-long hair probably comes from when I was a little girl, and I desperately wanted curly, long, blond hair, just like those fairy princesses. It made me so sad to see my straight, dull, short hair every time I looked in the mirror. One day, though, someone said (after I told her about how much I wanted something else) that she thought my hair was pretty. That set me thinking: this is my hair, it's part of who I am, it's how I started. So I can either hate it, or love it. I decided to love it, and take pride in it.

Of course, I never lost all of my fairy princess longings, which is why I grew my hair extra, extra long. It made me different from everyone else (not that homeschooling and being vegan doesn't, but most the people I hang out with are homeschoolers, and what you eat doesn't signify who you are quite like the way you choose to style your hair) and that made me happy. So, as I said in the second paragraph, I am very, very proud of my very long hair.

Why on Earth I decided to cut it, I'll never know... but I'm happy I did.

My hair is a 'normal' length now, and I suppose I don't like that about it, but it's cute, easier to manage and brush, and mom thinks it looks nicer... and I guess I sort of do too. I'll never dye my hair, or at least that's what I say now, but it is fun to curl it now and then, so, today and yesterday, because my hair isn't three feel long anymore, I was able to curl it, and both Mommy and Dad said it was cute! I mean, Mom saying that is awesome, but Dad... it's not like he never compliments me, but when it comes to 'girl stuff' (like hair, clothes, make-up--WHICH I DO NOT WEAR!!!) he's useless. It takes fifteen to twenty minutes for the results I like, but it's not so hard and I kind of like it. Sure, I'll wear it straight most of the time, but while I want to, I think I'll have it curly ;-)

Now for the part you've all been waiting for: The BOY RANT!

How is it I can cut near a foot off my hair, from lower than my waist to just at my chest level and they can't notice? These guys have seen me every week for years to film, play D&D and all sorts of things, yet they can't notice such a drastic change? Mom says she's died her hair from blond to red to bleach white and the guys she's known haven't noticed, and, I think I can see that happening. What is so different about their minds?

Then, I suppose I can't complain, because Daddy's cords and cables will always be a mystery to me. Aw well, I guess boys and girls are just different. And that, if you ask me, is a good thing.

The scary thing was when Brother1 came out of his room after getting dressed saying 'Does this shirt go with these pants?'; it did. And then there was that time he said black 'went with' some other color (can't remember which, sorry, but it did). I guess boys turn out a little... different with two older sisters.

Oh, and on the note of guys and girls: guys can read smaller print, but girls can hear better.

So, there you go! A post about hair, fairy princesses, accepting one's self and the battle of the sexes all in one. Just goes to show you how far my mind can wander.

Galaxy ;-)

BOOM!--a Dream Post

I was in our back yard, then this silver, round-edged box fell from the sky. It was very large, around four times the size of a smallish TV. There was a screen on one edge with numbers counting down, but I wasn't fully aware of them. The beeping, however was very prominent.

Then Daddy was next to me, and he said the Chinese had dropped a bomb--the silver box. We just had the bad luck of having the backyard it landed in. Not that that makes a difference.

All the sudden Dad was gone, and it was like he had never been there. I started freaking out... I really didn't want to die; which was kind of surprising, since normally I don't fear death. I guess when you're facing it it's a little different.

So I ran; there's a door in my fence and that's the way I went. I hadn't gone two feet outside it when I remember that Dear Sister was still inside, and how could I possibly leave without her? I turned back, feeling terribly guilty and frightened. And then it was like she had never been there.

I really didn't know what to do... finally, I just curled up in a ball, my face in our grass. So I closed my eyes, my face in soft, green grass and prepared to die. I really thought it was real. It just felt so real. And then...

It stopped ticking.

I would love to end my post like that; it sounds so dramatic and cool. I'd love to tell you how I felt dieing, but I can't--because that's all that happened. It stopped ticking--and nothing happened!

Then I woke up.

I just had to post this because it was so... real. I really thought I was going to die. I was hoping that maybe someone would know what it means. The only thing I can think of is that I'm freaking out about something that is no big deal; making a mountain out of a mole hill... that sort of thing.

It's good to be alive!


Galaxy

Be It

Close your eyes,

Now you see it;

Find it,

Love it,

Be it.

So find your dream, and make it happen.


Galaxy

The Crazy Dream I Had Last Night

Okay, so I was Harry Potter, and I was at Nana's House, and Lord Voldemort (sp?) and his Minions were attacking, and then I was me again, and Mom and Dad had to stay to protect the place (there were other good wizards fighting, too) but Dear Sister, Brother2 and I had to leave.
Now, Nana's house is on the top of a hill, and frequently I dream of going down that hill and it being really steep and scary. This was one of those dreams. We were running down the super-steep-hill and then it became almost vertical so Rose and I jumped and somehow Brother2 was with us. So now we were sliding down this vertical rode... down, down, down! It was super scary. And then the scariest: There was no rail to this super-steep-and-scary road, and Dear Brother2 (who is ten months now) was starting to slide towards the edge. So Dear Sis and I were trying to keep him from falling off, as we were falling down, down, down!!! I was so scared... And then Rose was holding Brother2, but not really because it wasn't secure at all and I was trying to get her to hold him better, but we were falling so fast and I couldn't think strait and she couldn't hear me well because of the roaring wind, and then we came to the bottom and finally stopped sliding.
The road stretched out in front of us for about 150 feet then turned left, and about 90 feet forwards there was road coming from the right that met up with this road. Everything else was grass.
About 50 feet forwards in the grass there was this tree, and I thought Rose and I could climb it to get a better view of everything to see if we could find help. (because Nana's house was very far away now)
So we made our way to the tree and climbed it, and when we were high enough I saw that by where the road turned left, about 100 feet into the turn there was a cute little house, and I was just about to suggest that we go there when I realized that there were these huge creepy bald guys (at least six) with white tee-shirts, padded black leather armless shirts and black pants that could have been black leather, or black jeans. They were moving all around that cute little house and something about them made me decide to stay away.
But then Rose saw a girl walking along the road where the house was carrying grocery bags. She looked nice enough, so we called out to her, and she pointed towards the cute-little-house with the really-super-scary-guys-wearing-leather (EEEEEEEEWWW!).
Not knowing what else to do, we climbed down the tree and suddenly we were there, but it wasn't like we just appeared there, I just didn't dream about that part.
Somehow Mom was with us (thank goodness!) and she was holding Brother2, and the scary guys weren't really that bad. The woman who owned the house was really nice, but the inside of the house was really dirt and unkempt.
So Mommy called Nana to pick us up (which is funny since we JUST CAME from Nana's house) and she picked us up and I think I woke up somewhere along there... It was a weird dream.

So... if for some strange reason you have questions, feel free to comment!

Galaxy

Count-Down REALLY Continues

Tomorrow is the day! I am so excited! It's going to be so much fun!

Mom and Dad are planning out a whole spy 'mission' for Dear Sister, Steffi, Froggy (you might recognize her name from comments. Her blog is restricted, so don't try to get there) Froggy's Brother (who isn't just coming because he's 'Froggy's Brother', it's just I don't know what else to call him so he can be anonymous) and myself!
Dear Sister is having quite a candy-filled (vegan candy, of coarse. And I tell you, 99.9% of it is home made) party! I'd tell you about all of it, but I have the feeling that Rose plans to do just that after her B-Day is over, or just as it starts. All I will tell you is that I made the Peanut Butter Cups (they came out beautifully!)! I've been bragging about them for a while, and I bet Dear Sister will roll her eyes when she reads that part!
So, I'm super excited, and not just for me; it's my baby sister's birthday (tomorrow)! She's going to be eleven! I can just feel how excited and happy she is, and I'm so very happy for her!

Anyway, I had a really weird dream and I plan to post about it later because I have no idea what else to do about it!

Well... that's it! Hope you're all having a good day!

Galaxy

A very lucky girl...

Some people wait their entire lives to find their dreams, and some people never find them. That's why I think I'm so lucky. I'm only 12 (almost 13!!!) and I've already lived my dream. I've learned to dance, I've performed in musicals and plays (and my Dancing helped a lot there) and done so many things I could only have dreamed of... but then they weren't just dreams. They were my life. I don't think that many 12-year-olds get to do this, and I feel so grateful and so lucky that this happened to me...
Not that this came without work... You wouldn't believe how hard dancing is... If you say it's easy, then you've never danced. Let me come over and I'll give you a free lesson. I guarantee sweat.

Anyway, back on topic....

Auditioning for plays was one of the scariest things I've ever done... you stand there, and they judge you! One day I was so frightened that when I was delivering my lines my hands were shaking. And trust me, I'm not exaggerating (but then I got double-casted as a lead so it didn't matter).

But really, all in all, it wasn't too much work. And the prize... the dream I've had as long as I can remember. I don't know what else to say. I'm just so grateful...

Galaxy

Crazy Dreams

Dreams are really weird. Really really weird. Last night, i dreamed i was kidnapped by some witches, three of them. Their names were: Holly, Sibyl and i don't know the others. Any way, they looked a lot like the witches from that movie 'Star Dust' if you saw it. The way i finally escaped was by finding out one thing about them: They all had the same name. After i said that, they just shrieked and my dream was pretty much over. One really weird thing about it is that it had subtitles, this is the first time i ever had subtitles in a dream. I was wearing this really really ugly plaid dress, well, the witches made me wear it. I figured out they had the same name (i guess that was their magical weakness or something) because of a flashback i saw for some strange reason: It showed their mother appear--i think she was a witch too--she made the witches who had me kidnapped appear out of nowhere, (that was how they were 'born' i guess), only they were full grown. They were beautiful then, not ugly and old like they were in most of my dream. Each one stepped forward and the mother witch said:
"You are ??? (i can't remember what name she said)"
"No! I want Holly!" the first one said.
"Alright," the mother witch went to the next one, "You are ??? (the same name she said last time)"
"No! I want a Sibyl!" (whatever a Sibyl is)
"Alright," she went to the last one. "You are ???" the same name again.
"No! I want ???" i can't remember what name that one said.
Any way, they weren't talking about names, the meant Christmas presents! (i don't know why) So they were actually all named the same thing. That was the magical weakness. I figured it out somehow and got away.
So i hope you've enjoyed my freaky dream... I don't know how all this got in my head. Just thought i'd share it. Have you had any weird dreams?

Galaxy