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Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Scariest Weapons Ever

Here’s a list of some of the scariest things EVER:

A bastard blob - the melted remains of a bastard sword. Old D&D pals for the game with Miranda, Levindar, Annabelle, and Metro will understand.

Dear Sister's glare - anyone who's felt it will understand.

A cumin spiced stake - those things can do DAMAGE when flying through the air. Just ask Zombie Julian from the Orderly Chaos role play game.

SPOONS - no, I'm not kidding.

Phoenix's Fire - especially after you've dared to TOUCH HER HAIR.

Teeth - I haven't dealt with vampires much. But from what I HAVE, my advice to you is to avoid the teeth. At all costs.

Mechanical pencils - bloody brutal to stab yourself with, if you ask me.

Geier's babies - you don't want to deal with that psycho vamp's swords. ESPECIALLY when he's wielding them. ESPECIALLY when he's irked. Geier belongs to Candyexorcist, by the way.

MP3 players with the sound on high - need more be said? Beyond 'MY EARS! MY EARS! I'M DEAF! GOD HELP ME! OOOOWW! OOOOOOOOW!', of course.

Millions and millions of questions asked one after another without time between to give an answer when you are expected to reply to all of them - kids, anyone? The worst part is it's just wrong to yell at them for this, because they're really actually curious, they don't mean any harm, and they're often really cute when doing so. BUT YOU DARN WELL WANT TO.

Mary's bag that is way too big to ever be called a purse - Dear Sister's fictitious character could deal real hit points with THAT monster.

Writers block - I swear, someone must have DIED from that biological (or would it be psychological?) weapon.

Cass's chemicals - that vampire alchemist sure has a bang. And half the time it involves half the city going up in smoke. Cassandra Larimar belongs to Octironstar.

Lyla's psychological manipulation - this psychologist likes to tear whatever is left of her vic-, er, clients' mental stability apart and then build it back up piece by painful piece. It works. But it hurts. No pain, no gain!

Drawing a comic but being too impatient to finish it when you really want to do so - I feel like screaming when this happens. Sometimes I do.

Okay, so maybe all these things aren't exactly weapons. And maybe half of them have to do with some of my RPGs. But they're ALL TRUE, and they’re ALL SCARY.

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